Start the New Year Without Resolutions!

3 STEPS TO CREATING INTENTIONS

There was a time in my life when, every December, I would begin to list all the things I would change in the New Year. My diet, exercise, how many books I would read, what accomplishments I would succeed in, and how disciplined I would be to my commitments.

And every new year, I would begin with a bang, and by February, I would be nothing but a puddle on the floor, which is when the critical voice inside my head would berate me and make me feel guilty. 

I would valiantly try again, but the result was virtually always the same. The long list of things I wanted to change was never accomplished.

I don’t think I’m alone.

Intentions

Over the years, I discovered that making resolutions was a set-up for failure. So I stopped doing it. Instead, I worked on my intentions. Intentions differ from resolutions – intentions are positively focused on creating a solution for your life. Resolutions are statements about something that needs to be “fixed” in your life. 

Resolutions imply that something is wrong with you or how you live. Intentions support a change you may want to make – not an overhaul.

Instead of setting an unattainable or unrealistic goal, intentions help you to build on a foundation.

Resolutions are destinations, but intentions give you a road map of how to get there.

STEP #1:

What is it you want to change? Your diet? Your weight? Exercise? Relationships? Communications? Accomplishments?

• Make a list of 5 things you want to work on in the New Year.

• Next to each item, write the outcome you desire. 

For example, if you want to “quit eating sugar” – then the outcome would be – “Reduce sugar intake by 20% in 90 days.”

You might add to that, “Reduce further by another 20% in another 90 days,” and so forth until you reach 100% reduction within a certain time frame.

Or you might want to “exercise more regularly.” The outcome might be, “Go to the gym (or yoga class, running, etc.) 2 days a week for 60 days. Increase to 5 days a week by June 1st.

Or you might want to start a meditation practice you stick with for longer than a week. The item may read, “Begin a meditation practice,” with the outcome to be “Meditate 3 times a week for 90 days.”

STEP #2:

Now – realistically – list how you are going to reduce the sugar intake, start the meditation practice,  or increase the exercise, etc.

Sugar: My intention is “I will not purchase” cookies at the grocery store and “I will not buy Snickers bars at the gas station.”

I will use sugar substitutes in my coffee or tea every morning.

I will have cut-up apples and celery in the fridge to munch on when I get a sugar craving.

Meditation: I intend to create a pleasant space where I can sit for 10 minutes three times a week (Wednesday morning, Friday afternoon, and Sunday morning).

I will gather beautiful things to create a sacred space that draws me to the meditation spot.

I will have a comfortable cushion and chair to sit in.

I will set a timer for 10 minutes as my goal – knowing that I can work up to that by starting with 5 minutes and then 7 minutes.

Write up as much detail as you can to describe the action steps you are willing to take to reach the outcome of your intention.

Notice that the action steps are not unrealistic. Create attainable goals.

STEP #3

Before January 1, 2024, arrives – it is a good idea to review the year that is about to end.  Perhaps engage in writing, journaling, or recording your thoughts about the past twelve months. 

• What did you accomplish?

• What joys did you experience?

• What commitments did you keep?

• What did you learn? About yourself? About others?

• What goals did you not achieve? Why?

• What kept you from not achieving commitments?

Reviewing this way helps us to gain clarity on where we have been, how we traveled through the past months, and where or how we might have improved.

Now – take what you have learned about the past twelve months and apply it to your intentions for the New Year. 

• Are there accomplishments that you wish to bring into 2024?

• Do you want to experience more joy in 2024?

• Were the commitments in the past year realistic?

• If not, how would you adjust them for 2024?

It is helpful to take a moment and look at what might have kept you from achieving your commitments. 

• What came up that felt like resistance?

• Were there fears of failure that came up?

• How long were you able to keep the commitments before they slipped away?

Resistance:

There is a beautiful concept in Sanskrit called “Tapas” which refers to the disciplines in yoga to achieve clarity of body and mind. The actual definition is “to heat, to glow, to shine.” In practice, it means to break through our resistance and overcome it.

When the alarm is set for 6 am because you want to get up and do a yoga practice as part of your New Year intentions, you may need to break through that voice in your head that might say, “Oh, but it’s so warm and cozy under the blankets right now! Just five more minutes!” 

Tell that part of you that it needs to step back, give you space, and then open your eyes and get out of bed. 

A part of you may say, “Just this once….”  Tell that part that it needs to step back, give you space, and then proceed with your intention. 

With each day that you achieve your goals, you will gain more confidence, more assurance, and more commitment to your intentions.

Happy New Year – May all Blessings be Upon you in 2024!